It Ain't Easy Eating Green


Monday, February 20, 2006

Well, life officially sucks...

Today was a really difficult.

After a long discussion with Brittany, we decided that it was best to break up. Well, it was mostly her who did the deciding, to be perfectly honest.

Image hosting by Photobucket

I feel like everything I've shared with her is a lie after what she said to me today. I couldn't really respond with any conviction, since I'm a pacifist and try to avoid conflict whenever possible, so I just listened for the most part. She said she found it difficult to adjust to my lifestyle and thought it was creating a space between us; that I cared more for the environment than her (I love them equally!); that we were just fooling ourselves into thinking we had a future with one another! She's fooling herself into thinking we don't have a future together! For what reason, I don't know...

I don't why she thinks I'm so "extreme," either. I'm really not. Honestly, I think she's just insecure about her beliefs, and thinks she'll never live up to my ideals or something. So she's hitting the road and leaving me behind.

We were together for just shy of ten months, but to me, it felt like we were soul mates. I thought I was going to marry that girl. She said she wanted to marry me a few months ago, too. We always said we'd spend our honeymoon in the rainforest, hiking and boating around the water systems.

With my partner gone, things are going to be tough. She was what kept me anchored this past year. I don't want another girl, either. I think that's how I know she's the one for me. If she were someone I didn't care about, I'd probably want to go out and grab the girl I saw, but for some reason, I don't have those feelings at all. I just want her back.

Look, sorry for the downer post, but you can probably expect a lot more of these from me. Fuck, I'll probably find out I have cancer tomorrow with all my luck. Not that anyone would care if I died, though, right? Ha. I know, I know, too melodramatic.... I'm a survivor. I'll get through this, I hope.

I'm going to bed.


At 12:44 PM, Blogger Gazelda said...

Preston you're so hot. If I stop eating meat and wearing leather can I be your new girlfriend?

At 3:05 PM, Blogger CoffeeKate said...

just keep reciting..."denial is my best friend, denial is my best friend" and things will get a lot better. at least that's what I do. I'm a vegan too actually! I was vegetarian for 9 years and about a month ago I switched to that i've made the switch, i can't believe it took me so long.

keep blogging,

At 5:28 PM, Blogger CoffeeKate said...

hey bookfraud- if you don't like it, don't read it. it's his life, so what does it matter to you?

At 6:28 AM, Blogger Bookfraud said...

go ahead, keep deleting my comments -- i'll keep posting them!

At 9:53 AM, Blogger CoffeeKate said...

OMG bookfraud...were you really being that spiteful at 6:28 AM?

At 11:25 AM, Blogger Wardo said...

Bookfraud, you're a worthless gonad. I'm imagining taking a shit on your face...and since the same memory cells involved in imagining are the ones involved with actual memory, to me, I actually got to unload feces on you.


At 11:28 AM, Blogger Preston said...

This guy is a full-time asshole, Kate. Don't let him bother you.

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Bookfraud said...

thanks for stopping by!

full time asshole, a-ok!

i see you changed your books.

my bad.

At 7:54 PM, Blogger KleoPatra said...


Hang in there!!

At 9:17 AM, Blogger Alecia said...

It wasn't a lie. Just know that. I'm not her, nor am I you, but I've been in this situation. I broke up with a guy after 5 years this past October. He felt like everything was a lie too. And no matter how much I told him that it wasn't, I'm not sure that he believed me.

I thought and felt everything that he thought and felt. Everything I said to him, I meant in those moments. Everything I wanted, I really wanted at that time. But people can change inside. Slight variations of themselves that they don't even really notice until it's too late. And when you love someone, you don't want to admit to them that you've changed, and that that change now forces you to let them go because it no longer feels right. When you love someone you don't want to hurt them. And although it's cliche and said a million times, sometimes love really just isn't enough.

I know it hurts, and you don't understand why, and you probably have a million questions. But if she doesn't come back to you, really use this experience to learn from it. You will move on, and it will get better. I promise.

I sound like a cheesy after school special, and I apologize. But that's my measly 2 cents.


At 3:41 PM, Blogger Preston said...

Thanks so much, Alecia.

If you WERE an after school special, I'd be home every day at 4:00pm sharp to watch you. Great advice.

Brittany was definitely beautiful - both physically and personality-wise. But I know that in time I will see the benefits of our split.

Thanks for stopping by.

At 12:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are sooo right... I would not care if you died. Please don't kill a car in the process.

At 4:56 AM, Blogger T said...

Its strange where life strands you at times. But weirdly enough something unbelivably nice comes along and scoops you in a warm embrace. Time heals.

At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude looks like a lady.

At 9:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude how the hell did you fuck someone with hair that bad? I mean did you leave the lights off all the time, I would have burst out laughing and said damn women you ever look in a mirror, what the fuck is wrong with you.
But at least she was smart enough to dump your sorry ass.
PS PHISH SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!


Post a Comment

<< Home