It Ain't Easy Eating Green


Monday, March 13, 2006

Preston Presents: The Dally Llama -- A Profile

Good evening.

Tonight I'm switching gears and introducing Preston Presents - a feature that will allow me to stop talking about myself for once, and shine the spotlight on those who often go unnoticed.
That's right -- you, my loyal readers and commenters! Without your support -- and yes, even the odd criticism -- I doubt I'd have the energy to post regularly. You keep me going, and after reviewing my blog's many comments, which now probably number in the hundreds, I thought I'd do a little feature on one of It Ain't Easy Eating Green's most obsessive visitors: The Dally Llama.

If you're ever in need of a good read, just check out one of his many comments, which, uh -- oh yeah. I apologize, but I forgot I deleted every last one of them the other day when he annoyed me by submitting an unwanted reply over and over again. I kept deleting and he just kept posting. Some people just can't take a hint, you know? But seriously, that's all water under the bridge now. What has passed is past! And speaking of the past, let's get on with the feature!

You'll be interested to know, friends, that Mr. Llama was at one time an aspiring actor! Here's a photo that was taken just before his audition for the role of Gollum in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy:

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"Fresh fish, master!! Yesss! The precious!"

Unfortunately, Jackson and his casting agents felt that Dally's performance "lacked passion," and ultimately gave the role to Andy Serkis, whose vocal talents and brilliant mannerisms gave audiences what is arguably the best animated character in CGI's history:

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Frustrated and angry with himself, Dally vowed that he would never make another attempt at acting. Instead, he enrolled in College, where he decided to pursue the study of Law. However, he quickly discovered that Law is hard, and after being put on academic probation, he gave up on yet another path.

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"To hell with this!"

Today, Dally lives in the basement of his parents' house and is pretty much a shut-in. But don't think for a moment that he's forgotten how to have fun! One of his favorite past times as of late is sticking ball-point pens in his ear, which he claims offers a "soothing, tingling sensation."

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I hope you have enjoyed the first of what I hope will be many profiles on Preston Presents.

I hope you all go and visit Dally's wonderful blog at

Good night, and don't eat meat.

- Preston


At 5:15 AM, Blogger Wardo said...

Hey, that pencil in the ear thing reminds me of Family Guy. That Opie character liked to put pencils in his ear, too. "Blrab, blrab!"

Does Dally Llama like having people put their fingers in his mouth, too?

Is he deemed "unemployable" too? That would explain a lot, like why he lives in his parents' basement.

Hey Dally, you suck! LOL! I congratulate you on posting ugly photos of yourself on the internet, though. A lot of people with your looks wouldn't have the balls. Well, maybe you're just too stupid to realize what you look like, though.


At 5:28 AM, Blogger The Dally Llama said...

I'll never forgive Peter Jackson for passing me over either.

At 6:01 AM, Blogger Wardo said...


I take back my insulting comments about you.

You are now officially in my good books, because I saw on your blog you posted a picture of yourself with a large, meaty animal you slaughtered for yourself. Caribou? Elk? I can't tell which one.

I should have realized that you have sand if Preston was setting you up for ridicule. Preston, you're sad - you wish you had the cajones to blast large mammals to death, too.

Dally - nice touch getting the bloody side of the beast into the photo. You could have flipped it for a more "sanitary" pose, but you went against the grain. I tip my hat.

Gutshot, too, looks like! I'm surprised you had the chance to pose with it, because deer can run forever if they are gutshot.

-Ace The Fellow Killer

At 7:17 PM, Blogger The Dally Llama said...

Who's got two thumbs and didn't write the train wreck HTML for this web page? This guy.


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