It Ain't Easy Eating Green


Wednesday, March 22, 2006


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When I was younger, I was the only Preston in school. I was made fun of by the other kids because I didn't have a "normal" name like them.

"Say 'here' when your name is called, children!" the teacher would say.

"Josh?" ... "Here!"
"Chris?" ... "HERE!"
"Scott?" ... "Here!"
"Jordan?" ... "Present!" (Class snickers)
"Preston?" (Class snickers some more)

"What kind of name is THAT?" one of the kids would always ask. They never got tired of that one.

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I didn't know any other Prestons. Not one. Nowadays, though, I'm seeing the name everywhere! For instance, I got a letter in the mail the other day about a record convention, and it's going to be held on Preston Street!

And while I was some store the other day, a mother kept calling, "C'mere, Preston!" to her son.

And someone told me a while ago that Britney Spears named her kid Preston or something!?


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It's funny, becuase I grew up hating my unusual, nerdy name because it was unpopular -- but now that it is popular, I hate it even more!

But whadda ya gonna do, right?

I was born a Preston and I will die a Preston.

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(That's right, I'm proud)


At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't forget the evil dog in the wallace and gromit cartoon A CLose Shave.

At 10:39 AM, Blogger Preston said...

Hmm. I haven't seen that.

At 12:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's right, spoiled rich kids with appropriate names such as "Preston" are popping up everywhere these days!

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Preston said...

You know, comments like that don't bother me in the least. I may have been born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but trust me, I spat it out long ago.

Hell, I refused to drive the BMW my Dad gave me.

You're an idiot.

At 4:20 PM, Blogger The Dally Llama said...

But you did sell it and keep the money...

Did you know that they filmed Napoleon Dynamite in Preston, Idaho? No lie. Look it up.

At 7:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dally, come on! I'm sure that preston donated all that money to an appropriate vegan cause like farm sanctuary of the ALF.

At 4:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, between all the name-calling and vegan in-fighting, this blog is exhausting and surprisingly lacking in real stimulating commentary... hey, I'm on the internet!

At 8:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're stupid.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm never wrong.
No one understands anything better than I do.
Even those who agree with me don't know the true wisdom of my beliefs.
I can argue any point better than anyone.
You're wrong.
You're an idiot.
Even though you don't think so, what you really mean is that you're insecure about your food.
You don't know what you're talking about.
You're ugly.
I'm the world's most pure-intentioned vegan.

At first blush, this sounds like a pissing match among five-year-olds, but it's really much closer to a general synopsis of Preston's response to criticism on any level.

Egotism your name is Preston.

At 6:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm feeling poetic this morning. So, I offer a Preston haiku.

Dumped by ugly skank
Has mop of pubes on his head
Preston is a twit

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Catherine said...

Hey man,

I'm a teacher, and there's a kid in my class named Preston. His nickname is "Pressie."

Think of it this way -- at least you have a unique name that no one forgot. I've been called Katie, Cathy, Kathleen, Karen, Kristin, Christine, Chrissy, and countless others. (Including Elizabeth. That confuses me.) THAT gets frustrating! Nothing wrong with any of those names . . . they're just not my name!

At 8:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

good point

At 6:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gargle nuts.

- Preston

At 6:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gargle nuts.

- Preston


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