It Ain't Easy Eating Green


Sunday, April 09, 2006

I've Disabled the Anonymous Comments

I know what you're going to say, so don't even bother. "Preston, I would have thought a guy like you would try and promote free speech!"

Yeah, I'm for free speech -- but I also believe that if you want to speak your mind, you should have enough guts to let others know who you are! You're just a fucking coward, otherwise. Every day there are dozens of anonymous comments on my blog, and nearly every fucking one of them is saying the same thing.

"Preston, you're an idiot!"

"This has inspired me. I offer a haiku." (This guy's a fucking pathetic clown.)

Scroll through any one of the comment sections and you'll see a total of about 3 registered users: Meatlover Skillet, Dally Llama and Argus.

You people are no better than the Klu Klux Klan, who hide behind their veils of anonymity, attacking those you KNOW are better than you.


At 7:53 AM, Blogger Preston said...

How about that.

Three comments from users who joined blogger solely to post on my blog.

Ha! And you accuse me of being pathetic!

- Preston

At 7:56 AM, Blogger Preston said...

Wow. Another post from one of the morons in the time it took me to make that last comment.

I can't believe you people.

At 9:17 AM, Blogger Preston said...

There's a difference between free speech and hate speech, you dumb fuck.

I posted my opinions on the Vegan Freak forums and was banned for calling them "stupid" on THIS blog. By contrast, you are only coming here to post negative, hateful comments. I did not do this on their site, so don't try to compare those scenarios.

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Preston said...


At 10:53 AM, Blogger Preston said...

Jesus, you are so fucking pathetic!

That's not some token "Pissed off Preston" comment, either -- here you are, trolling my blog in the middle of the afternoon on a monday, scrambling to create posts faster than I can delete them!

I'm laughing at you.

Anyone else reading this blog is laughing at you.

Ha ha ha.

At 11:41 AM, Blogger ArthurDigbySellers said...

Wow. First you just disparage people's opinions, and now you just delete them.

Cowardice at its best.

At 11:41 AM, Blogger Preston said...

I don't care how selfish I look.

At 11:42 AM, Blogger ArthurDigbySellers said...

Before, we were cowards for posting anonymously. Now, after, assenting to your demand that we obtain blogger account, you just delete our comments.

You are a coward and a hypocrite.

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Preston said...

I will delete your comments if you post spam repeatedly, as Mr. Anonymous likes to do.

Earlier, I deleted all the comments for this post because, like it or not, you were all being punished.

At 1:27 PM, Blogger Preston said...

Anonymous, you are one pathetic son of a bitch. What the fuck are you doing?

I sincerely hope that you're a fourteen year-old, but I have a strong feeling that you're one of the dumbass fags from the vegan freaks forum.

Get a fucking life.

At 1:52 PM, Blogger Wardo said...

Here on "Eating Green" the comments are allll Preston, allll the time.

At 10:59 PM, Blogger Preston said...

Okay, I've removed the comment moderation.

I'm not going to censor anyone, but for Pete's sake, keep your comments on topic and don't spam, will you? I'm asking nicely.

If you don't like the fact I've made my snake vegan, tell me why I should do otherwise. Not happy that I slashed my neighbor's tires? Try suggesting something that could have been a better alternative.


At 5:41 AM, Blogger Tre said...

Preston looks delicious.

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Sssssave Me! said...

Preston, I don't think you should feed me tofu, so I'm telling you otherwise, without trolling, etc. You should feed me meat because I'm biologically a carnivore.

Here's some stuff from Wikipedia. Sorry for the internet references, but my powers of research are limited, me being a snake and all.

"Pythons are constrictors, and feed on birds and mammals, killing them by literally squeezing them to death. They coil themselves up around their prey, tighten, but merely squeeze hard enough to stop the prey's breathing and/or blood circulation. Large pythons usually would eat something about the size of a house cat, but larger food items are not unknown. They swallow their prey whole, and take several days or even weeks to fully digest it."

Here's a pretty cut-and-dry explanation of my nature, from, a website which references both the Audobon Society, among other books published by people who know what they are talking about:

"What do snakes eat? All snakes are carnivores (car-ni-vorz) or meat-eaters."

And finally, an article put out by the University of Georgia, has this to say: "No snakes eat plants. All are carnivores."

To be fair and balanced, I tried to google articles on how to safely feed me tofu. . . and all I could find on the subject was recipes for cooking me with tofu. So sad. I guess there really isn't literature on how to feed me correctly, which is a shame for me. I'm eating tofu because you're giving me nothing else. . . not because it's an acceptable food that meets my biological needs.

What is especially a shame, is that you most likely won't listen to the overwhelming evidence that, as a snake, I am a carnivore.

At 7:14 AM, Blogger Tre said...

In five days, I'm going to eat Preston.
-tre the snake

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Preston said...

See, now that's the kind of response I appreciate.

A researched argument. I've done my own field research on this, though, and things seem to be going well so far.

So I'll keep you posted!

At 11:16 AM, Blogger Anonymous said...

Now you sound so mature

At 1:21 PM, Blogger Wardo said...

Tre, keep your chin up. Once the vitamins kick in, I'm sure you'll discover your ability to survive is stronger than you thought. You'll be thin and weak, but you'll live.

Keep a reserve of strength ready though in case Preston is dumb enough to let his hand get too close.


At 4:07 AM, Blogger The Dally Llama said...

Hang on. You appreciate a researched argument? I distinctly remember posting a couple of posts, complete with links to authority to back up what I was arguing, which, in point of fact, proved you 100% wrong. Those were the ones you deleted, remember? Good heavens, man. You're running out of corners of your mouth to be talking out of.

At 5:23 AM, Blogger Tre said...

In four days I will eat Preston.


At 5:47 AM, Blogger Preston said...

No, Dally, I don't remember any researched posts from you that proved me "100% wrong."

Why don't you come up with some others, or prove that those posts did indeed exist?

- Preston

At 6:10 AM, Blogger The Dally Llama said...

Convenient. Let me refresh your memory. Proper colon use. The difference between affect and effect--not just the rule, but the exception to the rule. You claiming that you weren't breaking grammar rules so much as taking artistic license. Remember? Those were the posts that spurred you into your expose on my failed attempt to land a part in The Lord of the Rings. I would love to prove that I posted them, but I can't because you deleted them. Unfortunately, I can't prove that they exist any more than you can prove that Tre exists.

P.S., why didn't you allow the post I submitted the other day before you turned off comment moderation?

At 7:10 AM, Blogger Preston said...

I can't remember what post you submitted the other day.

However, I do remember that the "evidence" you used to "prove" your grammar rules and colon use ended up working against you. You embarrassed yourself.

At 9:58 AM, Blogger Sssssave Me! said...

So, I guess I shouldn't point out that it's actually spelled "Ku Klux Klan", then?

At 10:46 AM, Blogger The Dally Llama said...

Sounds like a short term memory loss problem. Here's a little researched argument for you. THC (the drug in marijuana, but I'm sure you knew that) has a nasty little habit of effectively clogging cannabinoid receptors. This is a problem because the hippocampus (structure in the brain that, in lay terms, is responsible for retaining short term memories until they can be transferred to long term memory. This happens during REM sleep, when the hippocampus lights up like a roman candle, transferring memories.) is unusually high in cannabinoid receptors.

So, when you put lots of THC into your brain, over time the cannabinoid receptors in your brain can become blocked, again for lack of better way to put it. With the receptors that are naturally devoted to retaining memories in the short term and transcribing those memories to long term can't do this due to THC clogging them, memory is impaired. This gives rise to the phenomenon of pot heads who do things like losing their car keys, walking into a room and forgetting why they went there, forgetting where they hid their stash when they heard their parents coming down the stairs to investigate the weird smell combination of Febreeze and smoke coming from their basement, or conveniently forgetting any and all comments that could possibly paint said pot head in a bad light.

Don't believe me? Look here.

However, this does not account for your revisionist view of the past. You been hitting the 'shrooms too?

Lay off the pipe, panama red.

At 10:49 AM, Blogger ArthurDigbySellers said...

We're dealing with "Mature Preston" now, remember?

At 10:58 AM, Blogger Preston said...

Whatever, Dally. Whatever.

And Tre, the Ku Klux Klan --- are those even words? I don't think it matters how they're spelled, so long as you've got three K's in a row. Har har.

- Preston

At 11:25 AM, Blogger Sssssave Me! said...

Acutally, they are words. The name originates from combining the Greek word "kyklos" which means "circle" with "clan", which means "family". And we all know how Americans love alliteration, therefore: Ku Klux Klan.

It's lame to justify ignorance with the ol' "if you undestand my meaning, who cares?" argument.

Remember, proper grammar and spelling are amazing things! Come to think of it, 5 minutes of fact-checking on the internet would make your aspersions that much more potent.

If you really don't care how things are spelled, should we start calling you Prasston?

At 11:29 AM, Blogger Preston said...

So are you a KKK member, or what?

- Prasston

At 11:41 AM, Blogger Sssssave Me! said...

Yes Preston. I'm a KKK member. You caught me! How humiliating.

Oh, wait, I forgot: I went to school.

At 12:20 PM, Blogger ArthurDigbySellers said...

I get it... you're shown to be wrong, so you just say how stupid the whole thing is to begin with.

Blogger: Preston, this is the way it is.
Preston: No, you're wrong, fuck head. I'm brilliant; fuck you.
Blogger: Actually, I was right, here is my evidence.
Preston: That's stupid, why would I even care about that. Fuck you.

The most acutely brilliant arguer in the world shouldn't be so easily dealt with... perhaps your self-assessment is inaccurate.

At 8:49 AM, Blogger Judas said...

Preston, everything is o.k.


Post a Comment

<< Home